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Truths about life
Some truths about life that children have learned
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair
- If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person
- Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato
- You can't trust dogs to watch your food
- Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time
- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts
- The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap
Some truths about life that adults have learned
- Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree
- Wrinkles don't hurt
- Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts
- Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground
- Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside
- Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
Truths about life about growing old
- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional
- Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get
- When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there
- You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
- It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
- Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
- Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone
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